The Story of Patheticus and the Three Pairs of Boots
Once upon a time, in the Gynarchy of Barbaria, there was a runaway footslave by the name of Patheticus Minimus. He had not run away from his mistress because she was unkind and cruel to him; or because she was not beautiful; or because he did not admire his mistress’s feet and footwear. No, Patheticus had run away because he was stupid. He was just a stupid, ignorant footslave. He should perhaps have been more aptly named ‘Thickicus’ – ‘Thickicus Maximus’. And now, because he had run away from the security and warmth of his mistress’s feet, he was feeling frightened, anxious and lonely. He was also tired and hungry. In the depths of the forest he happened upon a house. There did not appear to be anyone inside, and so he crawled inside the house through the front door which had been left ajar. Patheticus had been a footslave for so long he could only crawl on all fours, and was now incapable of walking upright like a free man. He made his w