Jingle Bells

During the festive season, I am mockingly decorated by the local municipal authorities with tinsel, baubles and mistletoe under which I must kiss my customers’ feet.

Here you see two of my esteemed regular customers – Ms Mukta madam and her magnificent husband, master Simon sir – merrily mocking me on Boxing Day. Ms Mukta is asking me when I plan on taking down my Xmas decorations, and jovially enquires as to exactly how I plan to do so, given that I am permanently immured up to my neck in concrete wall? Will Santa’s little elves be assisting me, perchance?

I thank Ms Mukta madam for her kind questions and humbly inform her that I will indeed require assistance in removing my decorations, in all likelihood from the same municipal authorities that put them up, begging her female pardon and understanding madam?

She laughs out loud at me and then, as I continue to stare most humbly at her feet, goes on to enquire whether my decorative bells tinkle whenever I lower my lips to my customers’ shoes or boots in order to kiss-respect them? Again, I must respond most humbly and respectfully to my customer-mistress’s mocking question, by informing her that sometimes my bells do indeed ring out depending on the angle of my humble head, begging the mistress’s pardon and forgiveness madam?

Her mighty husband, master Simon sir, interjects at this point and exhorts his lovely wife to ‘try it out’ by having me kiss her feet, in order to see if my bells do truly tinkle?

She does. And they do!

Merry Xmas everyone!

Mocking my Xmas-decorated, municipal humble head

Regular customer Ms Mukta madam is wondering exactly when, and how, I intend to remove my festive decorations?

I must listen to her mocking questions in abject silence before answering them politely and with slavish respect

Meanwhile, all I can see is her SHOES and SOCKS

I humbly focus on the CREASES and STITCHING in her SOCKS

Eventually, at her husband's behest, she has me kiss her feet beneath the mistletoe...

...in order to determine whether my decorative bells will ring out?

I am humbled to confirm that they do...

...as my bauble earrings swing humiliatingly by the side of my feckless face!

Meanwhile, her husband's LOAFERS and SOCKS look on

The LOAFERS and SOCKS of a REAL MAN!

I do hope and pray I will be given the honour of kissing his BOXING DAY SHOES also!

But, for now, it is his lovely wife's SNOW WHITE SOCKS that dominate my lowly, festive field of vision

Jingle Bells!... Jingle Bells!.. Jingle All The Way!...

... Oh What Fun It Is To Kiss Such Feet On Boxing Day!... 

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