Better Than Me
Regular customer-mistress Ms Arabella Madam is clearly better than me, and for all the following reasons:
- She is young, free and female
- She is more intelligent than me
- She is better looking than me
- She is a chain smoker
- She is sexually promiscuous (whereas I am sexually impotent and celibate)
- Her boots are worth more than me in purely monetary terms
- Her socks inside her boots are worth more than me in purely monetary terms
- The bacteria in her footsweat and socks are a higher lifeform than me
Even as she turns to walk away from me she effectively ignores me, preferring instead to engage in a conversation on her phone with one of her many free-male admirers. They are lucky, because they can afford to pay Ms Arabella Madam for her love and friendship. I don’t have any money.