Sock-Teasing Expedition

Regular visitor to my face, Ms Mukta madam, has come on yet another of her sock-teasing expeditions:

‘Yo sockieboy, guess where my sockies have been to today?’

I have, of course, absolutely no way of knowing where she, and her socks, have been today, and must humbly apologise to her and her socks for my ignorance:

‘Oh pray Ms Mukta madam, oh pray Ms Mukta’s socks, this slave is stupid, madams, and therefore begs his mistresses’ pardons, madams, as he is unable to surmise the answer to the mistress’s kind question, madams, please don’t have me punished, madams?’

Her question is ‘kind’ because it relates to her SOCKS, and whenever a customer discusses his or her socks with me it is viewed, in Law, as an act of kindness on their part.

Ms Mukta feigns anger at my stupidity and ignorance (or is it indeed feigned? One can never quite tell with capricious Ms Mukta madam):

‘Tch! Stupid f***wit slave! They’ve been to see around a local stately manor with my hubby, your master Simon sir. Don’t you know anything, slave?’

‘Oh pray, Ms Mukta madam. Pray forgive me, mistress, and many congratulations to you and your socks, and to master Simon sir and his socks, mistress. Oh what bliss it would be if only I could accompany your socks on such happy and interesting occasions, clever and intelligent mistress Mukta madam?’

‘Haha! Chance would be a fine thing, ignorant footpig-slave! You could never be worthy to accompany my socks to heel, and that!’

‘No, mistress. Indeed mistress. Pray forgive my precociousness and arrogance, miss. I’m just an ignorant sockieboy slave, madam?’

‘Shut the f**k up now, slavey, and kiss my feet. Praise and bless my socks for the wonderful day they have had!’

‘Yes Ms Mukta madam. At once, Ms Mukta madam… Oh pray, Ms Mukta’s socks, if it pleases you Ms Mukta’s socks madams, please accept this slave’s humble congratulations on your splendid and exciting day, madams, whilst this slave has been stuck here admiring the shoes and socks of others who are, like yourselves, his infinite betters, mistresses the socks?’

Her socks crease up with laughter at me. And rightly so. 

Ms Mukta teasingly asks me if I know what her SOCKS have been up to today?

‘Yo sockieboy, guess where my sockies have been to today?’

I must humbly apologise to her, and her SOCKS, for my slavish stupidity and ignorance

My view of Ms Mukta's superior SOCKS as I offer my humble apologies to them

I can see the individual STITCHES in her SOCKS!

‘Oh pray Ms Mukta madam, oh pray Ms Mukta’s socks, this slave is stupid, madams, and therefore begs his mistresses’ pardons, madams, as he is unable to surmise the answer to the mistress’s kind question, madams, please don’t have me punished, madams?’

'Kiss my feet. Praise and bless my socks for the wonderful day they have had!’

I obediently kiss feet and praise and congratulate SOCKS

I know in my heart of hearts I could never be worthy to follow Ms Mukta's SOCKS to heel on such an outing

I'm just her local humble-head slave, fit only to kiss her feet whenever she visits me, and to admire her SOCKS...

...just as I kiss the feet, and admire the SOCKS, of all my esteemed customers!

She, quite rightly, turns her back and walks away from me

As do her SOCKS!

I bow my humble, SOCK-INADEQUATE head in shame!

How she must despise me - superior and kind Ms Mukta madam

I can't even enter into a meaningful conversation with her about her SOCKS!

I look up towards the backs of her departing SOCKS...

...and yearn to be a better SOCKSLAVE to my customers!


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