Dating Talk
‘Clean my boots, slave!’
‘Yes, miss. At once, mistress madam! Is the mistress heading off on a hot date tonight, miss?’
‘Yeah, I’m meetin’ up wiv my boyfriend in a few minutes, an’ that, so get a move on or I’ll be late, yeah?’
‘Yes, miss! Of course, mistress!’
‘Haha! Don’t you wish you could be goin’ out on a hot date tonight with a beautiful girl like me, slave?’
‘Oh pray, pretty madam! Oh bless! You are indeed very sweet and kind to think of my wellbeing, miss! But I’m just a slave, miss. I must work all the time, madam – shining shoes. And besides, I’m too old and ugly to ever be attractive to a superb young woman like yourself, miss. Plus I’m completely impotent, miss, begging your pardon ma’am. I’m just a shoelicking loser, miss!’
‘Haha! Don’t worry, slave. I was only joshin’ you, yeah? Haha – I mean, just look at you, an’ that! Who in their right mind would wanna date a dirty, old public shoelick like you? Haha! You is not only ugly – you is fick! And you is not even all that good at lickshinin’ shoes! You make me sick, an’ that!’
‘Yes, miss. You speak the truth, mistress madam. I do apologise for my ugliness, stupidity and ineptness, mistress, and for making you feel ill, miss.’
‘AND you should apologise for bein’ impotent and unable to satisfy a woman, stupid slave – unlike my boyfriend, yeah? He’s, like, the complete opposite of you, or somefing? He’s blazin’, innit though? He rocks!’
‘Yes indeed, miss, I do apologise for my sexual impotence, madam, most humbly and profusely. Truly it would be an honour for the likes of me to meet and serve a real man like your boyfriend, miss, if you would ever be so kind as to introduce him to me, kind mistress?’
‘Haha! I’m sure he’s got much better fings to do than talk to a pathetic old slave idiot like you, innit though? And so do I! So shut up and get a move on, slave – LICKSHINE MY BOOTS, OR I’ll WHIP YA!’
‘Yes miss. Sorry, miss! Please don’t beat me, female master ma’am! I like your socks, mistress.’