Public Service Broadcast

 

The television reporter on the Gynarchy’s popular ‘Whipping Channel’ sets the scene for both the studio audience and the audience watching eagerly at home:

‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ‘The Whipping Channel’ and our latest live, public whipping for your delectation and entertainment! This old slave man is about to be whipped for the crime of neglecting his mistress’s socks. Fifty lashes!’

The crowd in the auditorium cheer, whilst the nationwide TV audience casually pick their noses and eat their snacks in their onesies, tucked up on their respective sofas.

‘Let us begin by speaking to mistress Lisa, the slave’s owner. Lisa, what are you hoping to see this evening?’

'Hi, Melanie. I’m hoping that you can make my slave really suffer! Not only did he neglect to straighten a crease in my sock, he actually had the audacity to look up at my bare anklebone above the sock!’

The crowd in the auditorium gasp and there are cries, both male and female, of ‘Whip him!’…. ‘Make him feel the shame of the WHIP!’

The reporter continues:

'Don't worry, Lisa. I'm sure your slave will be fervently kissing your feet by the time we've finished whipping him! The WHIP will soon teach him respect and obedience towards you and your socks!... Now let’s speak to the attendant nurse, miss Shaniqua. Shaniqua, I understand you will be administering smelling salts to the slave if he passes out at any point during the punishment?’

‘Hi, Melanie! Yes, that’s correct. I’ll be making sure he experiences the full sting of each and every stripe!’

The audience cheer and applaud her.

‘And finally, let’s speak to the whipper himself, master Samuel sir. Samuel, what’s your game plan for this evening’s whipping?’

‘Hi Melanie! I’m going to start by applying the WHIP to his bare shoulders and will then gradually work my way down to the small of his back before working the WHIP back up again. The final 15 stripes will criss-cross the earlier ones causing acute pain at the junctions of the overlays!’

Again, the crowd in the auditorium cheer:

‘Haha, don’t spare him, Samuel. Make him wear the STING of your WHIP!...Give him a stripy, red shirt!’

The nose-picking audience at home grab their remotes in order to turn up the volume on their televisions.

‘Remember, ladies and gentlemen, this whipping will also be available for you to watch on catch-up on our fabulous channel for the next 3 months. We have cameras positioned at every angle to catch the WHIP as it falls, as well as the slave's pain reactions. Plus, of course, we have microphones strategically positioned to pick up both the sound of the WHIP and the screams of the slave!’

Ms Melanie moves over to the slave:

‘How are you feeling, about-to-be-whipped slave?’

‘M…mercy, m…masters’, mumbles the pathetic slave.

The crowd bellow and laugh!

Ms Melanie then moves well out of the way of the WHIP, and asks the attending dignitaries – representatives of the Gynarchy State – for authority to commence the WHIPPING.

It is duly given!