Sockieboy's Day Out

On rare occasions, slave sockieboy is permitted to accompany his master and mistress’s socks outside the home as they go about their daily business. At such times he must remain on his hands and knees and focus entirely on their socks, and must wear his ‘sockieboy footfool mask’ to help him avoid any distractions (as well as protecting the public from his ugly face!)

If any member of the public speaks to him he must kiss their feet and praise and bless them, before humbly and reverentially explaining that he is the slave of his master and mistress’s socks and is thus obliged to follow them to heel and to study any creases and folds in their socks. If he is asked by the superior member of the public whether he has a slavish preference for either his master’s or his mistress’s socks, he must humbly explain that everyone’s socks are his betters (including his interlocutor’s) but that, since his mistress’s socks legally own him, he would have to say that his fundamental devotion is to her socks – no disrespect intended to anyone else’s socks, including his magnificent master-sir’s socks.

Sockieboy must also ensure that the word ‘socks’ features in every sentence he utters, even if only to add ‘God bless your socks, master sir’ (or ‘mistress madam’) to the person with whom he is humbly conversing. 

Sockieboy has the inestimable honour of accompanying his master and mistress's socks outside

The Law states that he must 'have regard for' both his master's and his mistress's socks

But since his mistress's socks are his owners, his primary focus must always be on them

He must be on the look out for any creaess or folds in her socks...

...or any alien pieces of dirt or dust becoming attached to her socks

Of course, he also remains humbly mindful of his master's socks at all times

Most members of the public ignore the masked sockieboy-slave, but if any do deign to converse with him, he must reply to them in the most reverential tones, and only on the subject of his betters' socks


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