Are You Going Anywhere Nice?















The blonde, restroom customer-mistress gaily informs me that the weather is lovely outside, and expected to get even sunnier and hotter over the forthcoming weekend, which is why she and her boyfriend will be heading off to the seaside (the hot weather doesn’t seem to make her want to change out of her warm boots and thick, sweaty socks, however!). She then, mockingly, asks me if I am going anywhere nice this weekend, before ‘remembering’ that I’m just a ‘dumbass feetkisser’ who is forbidden to speak. So she proceeds to mimic what she thinks my answer to her question would be if I were permitted to speak:

‘Oh pray, pretty mistress, begging your pardon pretty mistress, I’m just a down-in-the-dirt slave, miss, and I’m not able to go anywhere, miss, if you will forgive me pretty mistress? I must simply stay here in this hot and smelly, public restroom and kiss feet, mistress, as I do everyday mistress, come rain, hail or shine, and for the rest of my life, mistress, thanking you kindly for your kind question, most  superior and intelligent mistress madam.’

Needless to say, I am extremely grateful to the blonde customer-mistress for putting words into my mouth, as well as her boot toe. Meanwhile her Asian friend (who is much more appropriately attired for such hot and sunny weather outside in sandals and bare feet), laps up my public mocking by one of her fellow females, and calls me a ‘numbskull’. I can’t wait to pay my respects to her bare, painted toenails which are, undeniably, cleverer than me, being the toenails of a superior goddess! But, for the moment, my menial mouth remains full of brilliant, blonde girl bootleather.

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