Roses Are Red...
The lovely, blonde-haired girl orders me to kiss and then lick the decorative, plastic red roses on her red and white, spotty ballet flats, as well as the rest of her shoe areas. She explains that lots of little bits of street dust and grime can get trapped in the contours and folds of the rose motifs, and she wants them cleaned!
I do my best, trying not to be distracted by her lovely, lattice-stitched, pink anklesocks beneath her skinny, blue denim jean hems, but afterwards she crouches down to express her dissatisfaction with my efforts. She tells me she has half a mind to report me to her boyfriend for ‘disrespecting’ her ballet flats, so that he will come round and ‘kick my ugly face in’. She asks me what I think about that?
I humbly apologise to the customer-mistress for my abject failure to cleanse her ballet flats to her complete satisfaction, and beg her to pardon me as I’m sure I could do much better the next time. But she merely grunts and tells me there won’t be a next time as far as she’s concerned, as I’m nothing but a ‘useless waste of space’! And with that, she turns her back on me and storms off across the square.
I can only hope and pray that, maybe after she has calmed down and been placated by the sight of her boyfriend kicking me in the face, she will have a change of female heart and allow me to have another go at cleansing her beautiful ballet flats with my incompetent tongue – this time under her boyfriend’s supervision!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh pray, pretty mistress,
Let me lick shoe!