Getting There In The End

‘Look at my pretty girlfriend’s footwear and tell me what’s wrong with it, slave?’

‘Oh pray sir, if it pleases you master sir and mistress madam, the mistress’s boots are dirty and scuffmarked, sirs, and could do with a good tongueshining by my menial mouth, masters, if you will forgive this slave’s impudence master and mistress please don’t beat me masters?’

‘Tch! Talk about stating the bleeding obvious, stupid slave! Look at her socks. What is wrong with her socks?’

‘Oh pray master sir, if you will forgive me, master sir, this slave cannot observe anything wrong with the mistress’s fabulous socks, sir? Forgive me, master, I’m stupid master!’

‘Tch! Stupid, ignorant slave! Count the rings at the top of each sock!’

‘Oh pray master, now I can see it master. Sir, the pretty mistress’s left sock has three rings showing at the top, whereas her right sock has only two rings visible above her boot, master?’

‘At last, stupid slave! We got there! So, what do you suppose might have caused that anomaly in my girlfriend’s socks to happen? Please share your infinite sock-wisdom with us, stupid ignorant slave!’

‘Oh pray master. Please don’t beat me masters. This slave supposes that the mistress’s right sock must have inadvertently slipped down inside her boot whilst she has been going about her daily business with the master sir, masters?’

‘Mmm… methinks you might be right, slave! You shall, of course, be punished later for my pretty girlfriend’s sock slippage inside her boots. But, in the meantime, what are you going to do to fix her sock?’

‘Oh sir, if it pleases you sir, I must straighten the sock on your girlfriend’s ankle, sir?’

‘Tch! And what must you do before that, slave?’

‘Sir, I must beg for the mistress’s permission to touch her sock, sir?’

‘Tch! You really are thick, aren’t you, slave! Before that? What must you do before you even ask for her kind female permission to touch her sock?’

‘Oh pray, master? Pray help me to know the answer, sir. I’m just a stupid slave, sir, begging your manly pardon sir?’

‘Tch! Honestly – I’m gonna give you such a hard SLAP in a moment! APOLOGISE, slave! Apologise to my girlfriend for allowing her sock to slip down inside her boot!’

I have never met or even seen this young woman before. I cannot possibly be responsible for her sock slippage!

‘Yes, master sir. I understand now sir. Thank you kindly, master…  Oh pray, mistress madam, begging your pardon, pretty mistress madam, please forgive this slave’s negligence and incompetence in allowing your right sock to slip down inside the top of your boot, mistress madam. Oh pray, pretty mistress! Pray forgive me, mistress.  Please don’t have me beaten, miss?’

‘Finally, we're getting there, stupid slave! Now straighten her sock. And if your bony old fingers so much as touch her bare skin, my God I’ll break them off – you see if I don’t!’

‘Yes, master sir. I will be careful, master sir. This slave is not worthy to touch the pretty mistress’s skin, sir!’

All this would have been much easier, of course, if the master’s girlfriend would simply reach down to pull up her own sock. But why should she, when she has her manly boyfriend’s pathetic old slaveman to do it for her? 

‘Look at my pretty girlfriend’s footwear and tell me what’s wrong with it, slave?’

‘Oh pray sir, if it pleases you master sir and mistress madam, the mistress’s boots are dirty and scuffmarked, sirs...

...and could do with a good tongueshining by my menial mouth, masters?'

My angry and impatient master sir orders me to look at his pretty girlfriend's socks

Now I understand! I must straighten her wonky, right sock!

We got there in the end! I know I have been promised a beating by my master for allowing the sock to slip down inside his girlfriend's boot...

...but I can only hope and pray that, by way of compensation, I will be permitted to tongueshine her scuffmarked, brown leather boots!

 


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