Pub Door Footslave

‘Kiss my wife’s feet, footslave! Kiss her sneakers and admire her socks. Verbally praise her socks while you are kissing her feet and imagine what it would be like to be her personal sockservant – responsible for the upkeep and wellbeing of all her socks, both on and off her feet. Then bemoan the fact that you could never be good enough to be my wife’s personal sockslave, and apologise to her, to me, and to her socks. Apologise to my socks also, as you are not even good enough to be their servant!’

‘Yes, master sir. At once, master sir!... Oh mistress madam, truly I am honoured to kiss your sneakers on your feet and admire your socks. Oh your socks, madam! Praise be unto your socks! Your socks are fabulous, madam, like you mistress, if you would be so kind and forgiving towards this footslave’s forwardness madam please don’t have me beaten miss? Oh your socks, miss! Your SOCKS! Oh if only I could be good enough to serve your socks all my days and to keep myself only unto them. I would kiss your socks, massage your socks, mouthwash your socks and blow-dry your socks, mistress madam. Oh but this humble slave must painfully acknowledge that he could never be good enough to be the full-time servant of your socks, miss. Your socks are too high and mighty for him, miss. Oh pray, mistress madam, pray accept my humble apologies for my weakness and inadequacy in this regard, mistress. I’m garbage, miss. I apologise most profusely to you and to your socks, madam. And to your mighty husband and his socks also, madam, if you would be so kind and merciful master sir? I’m pathetic, masters! Have mercy on me, your socks! Oh pray have mercy, socks!’

The happy couple laugh at me.

‘Kiss my wife’s feet, footslave! Kiss her sneakers and admire her socks.'

The master-sir's words MUST be obeyed. I'm just a slave!

I kiss his wife's dirty sneakers and admire her short, grey socks

I verbally praise her socks in between my mouthfuls of sneaker dirt!

I also apologise to the lady's socks...

...on account of my being inadequate to be their personal, full-time servant!

Meanwhile, the master's socks watch on...

...no doubt equally disappointed in my weakness and inadequacy!

But this couple's socks are just too good for me!

I am blessed even to be breathing in the same air as their socks!

My humbling view of the pub patron's sock

I can hear the couple laughing at me and mocking me from on high

Of course, my life as a lowly pub door footslave isn't all sweetness and socks!

I must deal with the day-to-day drudgery of kiss-respecting many differing pairs of boots and shoes

But the memory of those sweet socks, and their humiliation of me, shall long linger in my menial mind!


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