Can We Talk?

All day long he must silently, and respectfully, kiss the feet of his subway betters as they go about their daily commute, until such time as one of them deigns to engage him in conversation whilst he lickshines their shoes or boots:

‘Is you allowed to talk, an’ that, slave?’

‘Oh pray, pretty mistress... lick…lick… if it pleases you, pretty mistress… lick…lick… this slave is indeed permitted to speak to his superiors, mistress... lick…lick…lick… but only in connection with their feet and footwear, miss… lick…lick…lick… if you would be so kind and understanding to a public humble head, madam?… lick…lick…lick…lick… '

'Ha! Ha! Gawd, you is well pafetic, innit though slave? Ha! Ha! Well, in that case, talk about my socks, an’ that, slave! Tell me what you finks of them, an’ that. Does you like them, an’ that?’

‘Oh pray, pretty mistress! ...lick…lick… Oh your socks mistress!... lick…lick… Oh bliss, pretty mistress! ...lick… Truly this slave is enamoured by the greyness of your socks miss… lick…lick…lick…  and the way they complement your black leather boots, mistress-madam… lick…lick… if it is so pleasing to you mistress?... lick…lick…lick…lick…lick…’

‘Ha! Ha! My boyfriend bought me them socks, innit though? Ha! Ha! I’ll bet you is wishin’ you could, like, be one of my socks, an’ that? Innit though slave? Ha! Ha! Is you wishin’ and prayin’ you could, like, be inside my boot all day, or somefing? Is you yearnin’ to have my sweat in your face, though? Ha! Ha! Is you a dirty stink face, though?’

‘Oh pray, pretty mistress… lick…lick…lick… Please forgive me, pretty mistress… lick…lick… but this slave is indeed a dirty stinkface, madam… lick…lick…lick…lick… and apologises most profusely if his face offends the magnificent mistress!... lick…lick…lick… Pease don’t hurt me, miss!... lick… Oh I do indeed aspire to be your sock, mistress!... lick…lick...lick…lick…lick…’

‘Ha! Ha! Pafetic loser-bwoy!’


She turns and walks off, disappearing forever from his lowly life and leaving him to the tender mercies of the next customer-mistress, or master-sir, who happens his humble way.













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