The sign above my humble head says it all. I’m just a public
‘sock slavey’ – duty bound to slavishly admire people’s socks as I kiss-respect
their outer footwear.
Many like to exploit my lowliness for their amusement:
‘Yo, sock slavey! Look at my sock and tell me what you
see? Describe the pattern in the stitching and tell me what you admire most
about my sock!’
‘Oh sir, oh master sir, if it pleases you, master sir,
this sock slavey is indeed privileged and honoured to be permitted to study
your sock, sir. And it is truly a magnificent sock, sir – not just because of
the vertical pattern in the cotton stitching and the concomitant creases in the
sock, sir, but because it is your sock, on your foot and ankle sir, and you are
truly a magnificent man, sir. Not like me, sir. I’m garbage, sir, begging your
pardon sir and that of your esteemed female companion, master sir?’
Speaking of the man’s girlfriend, I would very much like to
be ordered to study her sock, on her shapely ankle!
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| ‘Yo, sock slavey! Look at my sock and tell me what you see?' |
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| ‘Oh sir, oh master sir, if it pleases you, master sir, this sock slavey is indeed privileged and honoured to be permitted to study your sock, sir. And it is truly a magnificent sock, sir!' |
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I speak the truth. The unknown master-sir's sock is wondrous to behold...
|
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| ...being the sock of a real man... |
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| ...and therefore worthy of my slavish praise and adoration |
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| I humbly extol the virtues of the man's socks... |
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| ...in front of his girlfriend's socks! |
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| I would, of course, much rather be extolling their feminine virtues! |
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| But public sock slaveys can't be choosers. We are the slaves of everyone's socks! |
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| And so I continue to praise the master-sir's socks... |
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| ...focussing on black manly sock rather than white feminine sock. For the time being at least! |
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| The happy faces of the laughing couple |
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| The sneakers and socks of the happy, laughing couple |
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| 'Oh pray, master sir! Oh pray!... Your SOCK, sir!' |
