Mathematician

Some of my more demanding customers will occasionally demand that I am a mathematician, as well as a bootcleaner:

‘Slave, lick my boots until they are sparkling clean. Begin at the bottoms and work your way up. When your face reaches the tops of my boots, you must count the number of visible stitches in my socks, and then calculate the overall number of stitches in each sock. When you have finished lickshining my boots, I will then ask you for the exact number of stitches in each of my socks. I already know the correct answer as I read the relevant information on the packaging that came with the socks. For every number of stitches you get wrong, be it plus or minus, I shall have you WHIPPED. Only if you calculate the exact number of sock stitches correctly shall you avoid the STING of my WHIP on your back!’

‘Yes, mistress madam. At once, mistress madam. I will be a good bootlicker and sockstitch-counter for you, madam!’

I might sound confident, but inwardly I am trembling, as you don’t have to be a mathematician to work out that my chances of my guessing the number of the pretty customer’s sock stitches accurately are virtually nil!

I'm going to be WHIPPED!... I'm going to be WHIPPED!... I'm going to be WHIPPED!... I'm going to be WHIPPED!...

Demanding that I calculate the number of stitches in her socks, whilst I tongueshine her boots!

She informs me I shall be WHIPPED for every number of sock stitches I calculate incorrectly!

It's an impossible task, but one that MUST be obeyed!

Thick, stripy towelling socks!

The female finger of fickle female power and authority - pointing to her SOCKTOP!

It is a FINGER that MUST be obeyed!

I am trembling inside at the ENORMITY of my task!

I obediently begin by lickshining the bottom of her right boot...

...and then, as my face nears the boot top, I begin counting the individual, visible sock stitches...

...both black and white stitches!

I must then calculate, with pinpoint accuracy, the overall number of stitches in the thick TOWELLING SOCK

I'm going to be WHIPPED!... I'm going to be WHIPPED!... I'm going to be WHIPPED!...


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