Ode To Ms Aneka's Stinky Black Socks
Off-duty security guard mistress, mistress Aneka madam, is taking advantage of the public footslave to air her dirty, unwashed work-uniform socks by pinning them to his ears. She is also crouching down and supposedly fanning the stinky smell of her black socks away from his face, but we know this is only ineffectual faux-fanning due to:
Ø The sarcastic expression on her face
Ø The miserable expression on the slave’s face
Ø The makeshift, wooden sign she has attached to the back of his neck publicly declaring him to be a ‘socks airer’
Ø The garishly-coloured ‘footfool’s cap’ with bells on which she has simultaneously placed onto his humble head
Ms Aneka madam asks the slave how he is liking it, having her stinky, used socks on either side of his face? The slave humbly replies (as he is obliged to do by Law) that he likesit, since it is an honour and a privilege for him to be of service to the mistress’s beautiful, black socks, but that he doesn’t like it very much, since the stinky aroma of her work-socks is quite overpowering, if she would be so kind and understanding to a lowly, public footservant who is at her mercy, madam?
Ms Aneka madam just laughs at him and orders him to recite an impromptu ode to her stinky, black socks, praising and extolling their virtues.
Again, the slave has no choice but to obey. It’s the Law – so he must think on her feet:
‘Oh pray, Ms Aneka madam’s stinky black socks,
The socks of a goddess, if it pleases you Ms Aneka madam’s stinky black socks,
Pray air your views on this pathetic, public footservant as you air your smells,
Ms Aneka madam’s stinky black socks,
That all may know the contempt in which you rightly hold him,
Ms Aneka madam’s stinky black socks,
For you are better than him,
Ms Aneka madam’s stinky black socks,
Being the socks of a powerful and intelligent, young woman,
Mistresses the socks.’
Ms Aneka madam guffaws with laughter at his feeble effort, but complains that it doesn’t rhyme. Ha! Ha! Can’t the stupid slave think of a single word that rhymes with ‘socks’? How about ‘stocks’ for example? Couldn’t he have said something like:
‘Oh pray pretty mistress, with your stinky black socks,
Truly this slave should be placed in the stocks,
With your socks on his face,
To show his disgrace,
To all who bother to visit this place!’
The footfool apologises profusely to Ms Aneka madam for the weakness and feebleness of his poem, and acknowledges most humbly that herimpromptu poem is much better than his, as it rhymes. It just goes to show how much cleverer the mistress is than the slave.
This statement of fact seems to placate Ms Aneka madam’s mock outrage at the uselessness of the slave’s ‘ode’, and she continues to happily fan the ‘ode-our’ of her stinky, black work-socks around his feckless face whilst cocking her own pretty head to one side in playful pity at him.