Don't Do It!

To those of you who aspire to be a public footslave in the Gynarchy like me, please just take a few moments to ponder the following before you rush off to apply for your Gynarchy slave-permit.

If you become a public footslave there is no going back. You will be a footslave for life, until and unless you become too old and decrepit to be of any use out on the streets at which point you will be consigned to the underground slave-mines. And, whilst you are serving as a footslave you will experience all of the following:

·                            Impotence. You can have no say over who stops to use you (or indeed who merely passes by you), or in their choice of footwear which they impose upon your face. You must slavishly serve and respect all the shoes, sandals and boots that are presented to you for public kissing or lickshining, regardless of whether you hanker for them or not! Plus, needless to say, you are impotent in other ways too – you are impotent to protect yourself if your customers choose to hurt you (e.g. kick you in the face); you are verbally impotent, forbidden to talk back to your betters when they hurl down abuse at you and, indeed, forbidden to speak at all unless you are first spoken to by a customer and invited to converse with them about their feet or footwear (that is the only subject you are permitted to speak about by law); and, of course, you are sexually impotent, your private parts being immured.

·                            Hunger. Your meagre daily ration of tasteless slave-mush will not be enough to sustain you on its own, and you will be reliant upon the dirt and mud from your betters’ shoes and boots to supplement your slave-diet – an acquired taste I can tell you!

·                            Exposure. You must serve as a public footslave in all weathers, be it the blazing heat of the sun in summer, the rain and wind of the autumn, the snow and frost of winter, or the chill breeze of spring. Night and day you must serve; never off duty; 365 days a year. And remember, your head is very much exposed to the elements, even if your body is encased in cold, brick wall or concrete!

·                            Loneliness. You may be serving hundreds of customers each day, if like me you are located in a busy city-centre location, but you will have no friends. You are a loveless, friendless creature, whom everyone despises. A mere ‘humble head’, whom they use to clean their dirty shoes and boots – many without even thinking as they are engrossed in other things, such as their mobile phones, or newspapers, or chatting with their companions high above you. You are a nothing and a nobody. A thing.

·                            Pain. Not just the pain of loneliness, but physical pain. The pain of being immobile. Neck pain. Back pain. Muscle ache. To say nothing of the pain from kicks and slaps to the face and/or being whipped across the face.

I have to go now. My next customer is approaching. But there is plenty more I could say to dissuade you from applying for that Gynarchy slave visa. Don’t do it – unless you want to end up like me, constantly surrounded by streetwise young women’s dirty feet and footwear!...