Sweltering

Volunteer civilian prison-visitor mistress, Ms Mukta Madam, has come to mock me in my subterranean prison-cell as I languish in the kneeling stocks. She informs me that it is a blisteringly hot, summer’s day outside, and she opines that I must be really sweltering stuck here in my stuffy underground cell, especially as it has no windows or air conditioning and the heat is kept permanently on high?

I thank the civilian visitor-mistress kindly for her kind concern, and assure her that, whilst I am indeed suffering from heat stroke, I would very much prefer that than to suffer from the whip stroke of my mighty gaoler master-sir who is standing guard over me! Ms Mukta laughs at me, and then holds her socked and sandalled foot up to my kneeling face. She asks me if I can smell her footsweat on her sock, as she has been promenading outside with her husband, Simon, who is currently enjoying a cigarette out in the fresh air.

Ever mindful of my gaoler-master’s aforementioned whip, I politely confirm to Ms Mukta that I can indeed detect the aroma of vinegary and cheesy footsweat emanating from her socked toes, and I thank her kindly for kindly sharing her footsmells with me. She then asks me if I have any messages for her husband Simon, and I implore her to inform master Simon Sir on my humble behalf that he is indeed a most fortunate man to be married to such a beautiful young woman such as Ms Mukta, and that I crave his indulgence for smelling his wife’s sweaty socks on her feet.

She again laughs and says she will pass on my message to him, before taking a refreshing slurp of her ice cold, fizzy drink in front of me.