Instructions to the New House Slave

The middle-aged, Chinese couple are explaining to their new house slave, in broken English but in no uncertain terms, his primary role as the personal servant of their beloved, 21 year old daughter – Miss Li Ling:

‘You a slave. You a dirty. You obey Miss Li Ling, or we give you many pain!

Miss Li Ling say, ‘Slave kiss feet’, same second you kiss Miss Li Ling feet.

Miss Li Ling say, ‘Slave smell sock’, same second you smell Miss Li Ling dirty sock.

Miss Li Ling say, ‘Slave fetch whip’, same second you fetch Miss Li Ling whip.

All the time you obey Miss Li Ling. You work. You bow. You fear Miss Li Ling. She your master. You her slave! Ha! Ha! You wear cangue. You a fool!’

Miss Li Ling herself, meanwhile, can’t wait to get her hands on the aforementioned whip!