Regular customer-mistress Ms Mukta madam, kind and generous young woman that she is, has kindly brought me a bucket of her and her husband's cold, leftover slops from Xmas, comprised of the unwanted scrapings from their plates; various bits of food that they have partially chewed and then spat out again; congealed, fatty and greasy meat; rancid, sour milk etc.
It's a Boxing Day tradition on the part of Ms Mukta and her husband, and I am very grateful for their thoughtfulness in providing me with nominally human food - albeit cold, greasy and unappetising food, with most of the nutrients already taken out of it.
I praise and bless Ms Mukta madam for her kindness towards me and, as soon as she has tipped the contents of the bucket onto the dirty ground in front of my face, eagerly 'tuck in' to my meagre, foul-tasting meal of the slops she and her husband have rejected as unfit for human consumption. It's hardly a feast fit for a king, but it is most certainly a feast fit for a public footservant!
Ms Mukta laughs at me as I try not to grimace or wretch whilst eating my insalubrious meal!
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| Ms Mukta approaches me with her traditional Boxing Day bucket full of cold, leftover slops |
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| I brace myself for the foul-tasting mush that is not considered good enough for her, or her husband's, bodies |
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| She mockingly wishes me a belated 'Merry Christmas'... |
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| ...before having me kiss-respect her festive feet... |
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| ...as a sign of my indebtedness to her for being so kind towards me |
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| My humbling view of Ms Mukta's sock |
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| Before I can taste her leftover slops, I must first taste her sneakerdirt, of course! |
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| She jokingly says her sneakers are my 'starter' course! |
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| To be perfectly honest, I could do without my main course which is soon to follow! |
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| But who am I to show ingratitude towards such a kind and thoughtful couple? They could, after all, just throw their leftover slops into the bin! |
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| Once she is satisfied that I have finished my 'starter' course, Ms Mukta crouches down in front of me and empties the congealed contents of the bucket onto the dirty ground in front of my confined face |
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| She then takes a step back and urges me to eat up - even mockingly wishing me 'bon appetit'! |
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| I 'tuck in' to my meagre meal of the food she and her husband have rejected over the past 48 hours... |
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| ...though some of it will have made it inside their superior mouths before being spat out again - bone and gristle etc. |
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| I have the added indignity of having to eat in front of Ms Mukta's watching sneakers and socks. They won't leave until I finish eating every last untasty morsel of my menial meal! |
