Flattery Can Get You Nowhere

September 02, 2026

‘Tongueshine my boots, slavey! I’m on my way to meet up with my boyfriend and I want my boots to look perfect for him, and that?’

‘Yes, mistress madam. At once mistress madam. Truly it will be an honour for me to shine your boots for the benefit of your boyfriend, miss. He must be a truly magnificent man to be going out with such a beautiful and fabulous young woman such as yourself, miss?’

‘Yes he is! He’s not like you at all! He’s handsome and rich and strong. He has his own car, and everything, innit though?’

‘Oh miss, Glod bless your boyfriend, miss? Miss, might I be so bold as to ask you to invite him to visit me sometime himself, so that I might lickshine his shoes and congratulate him on his good fortune in life, miss?’

‘Erm, well, I can, like, ask him, and that, but he’s a very busy man, slave! Having said that, it would be good for you to have the taste of his expensive shoeleather, and that – the shoeleather of a REAL man - mixing with the taste of my leather boots inside your mouth, innit though? Shut up now, slave, and get a move on with licking my boots while I give him a call!’

‘Yes, miss. Thank you, miss. God bless you, miss.’

As I proceed to lickshine the bright young woman’s boots, I overhear her talking to her boyfriend on the phone:

‘Hi honey, I’m just on the corner of Homerton Street having my boots lickshined by a dirty and pathetic, public shoelick-slave. He’s asking to lickshine your shoes too, though? Can you come over in the next few minutes, though?... Haha, ok honey, no worries! Will do! See you soon, honey! Love you!’

She then looks disparagingly down at me as my tongue reaches the top of her left ankleboot:

‘He can’t come over here right now, slavey, but he’s asked me to take a picture of you so that he and his mates can laugh at you lickshining my boots, and that, innit though? Haha.’

‘Yes, mistress. God bless you, mistress. And praise be unto you, your boyfriend and his friends, miss!’

Her tone suddenly changes to a much more severe and threatening tone:

‘DON’T touch my sock while you’re lickshinin’ the top of my boot, slavey!’

‘Yes, miss. I mean, no miss. Please don’t hurt me, miss?’

I continue lickshining this sweet and kind young woman’s boot, without touching her sock, suitably humbled by the knowledge that, right now, her manly boyfriend and his manly mates are laughing at the picture she has taken of me lickshining her boots!

When you’re a public footslave, flattery often gets you nowhere!

‘Tongueshine my boots, slavey! I’m on my way to meet up with my boyfriend and I want my boots to look perfect for him, and that?’

‘Yes, mistress madam. At once mistress madam. Truly it will be an honour for me to shine your boots for the benefit of your boyfriend, miss.'

'Miss, might I be so bold as to ask you to invite him to visit me sometime himself, so that I might lickshine his shoes and congratulate him on his good fortune in life, miss?’

‘Erm, well, I can, like, ask him, and that, but he’s a very busy man, slave!... Shut up now, slave, and get a move on with licking my boots while I give him a call!’

‘Hi honey, I’m just on the corner of Homerton Street having my boots lickshined by a dirty and pathetic, public shoelick-slave...

...He’s asking to lickshine your shoes too, though?

‘He can’t come over here right now, slavey, but he’s asked me to take a picture of you so that he and his mates can laugh at you lickshining my boots, and that, innit though? Haha.’